You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize