dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
