what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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