Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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