in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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