Im at strip club and am horny
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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