I accidentally had phone sex last night
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
