Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
