Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
