My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
two words...techno handjob
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
