I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
