Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
