Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
