you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
