she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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