margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
