it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
