So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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