Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
