i just wanna soil my oats bro
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
