I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
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