So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
