Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I enjoy the company of your penis
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