Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
