how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
