i wish there were pregnant emoticons
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
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