the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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