I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Green mimosas i think yes
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
