i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
