Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
