honey bunches of taint.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize