i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
