ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
