Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
