It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
