Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
