My liver just broke up with me...
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
