you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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