I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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