and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
