the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
So apparently I’m into choking now
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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