I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
