oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize