come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
