very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Randomize