where does the pee come out of this thing
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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