think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
