Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
