You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Randomize