The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
