he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
