I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
