It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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