Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
