the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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