shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize